Early Christmas Charity Works

Just a short blog before I immersed myself in writing my master's paper.

Last night, after enjoying our company bowling tournament, I was able to start a personal charity program that I've been planning for a long time now. The idea is very simple: Instead of shilling out to poor beggars, I intend to provide the basic items they will be needing especially this time of cold December. The program will be made weekly until the end of December.

I asked my friends to donate clothings and blankets days earlier, since we just had a typhoon (which is a bit strange for the cold season). With their hearts on their sleeves, I got a bagful of donations, which I thought was enough for the first night of charity works. But I soon learned that the donations wasn't even close as enough, with so many homeless kids and old beggars in the street.

On the way home with some of my friends, we went looking for prospective donors. Oddly, the bridge from SBMA, which is commonly a place of beggars, is a deserted at around 10:00 pm. I'm not sure if the curfew made this happen, but we only found one drunk donor.

He was a common face. A midget whom I was able to talk to before. Sadly, I grew up seeing how he ended up as a beggar. He didn't use to be a drunk small guy; he was a nice vendor helper during the early SBMA years. I think he even got a family back then.

We gave him the only jacket in the donation (the rest are blankets). He took the jacket and thank us. I told him to keep sober. he smiled and walk away.

The next beggar we saw is actually the one I admire most. He was a regular in front of the mall. I approached him with a smile:

"Kuya may sobra kasi kaming kumot baka magamit mo sa lamig", he looked at the blanket, at me, made a thumbs-up sign and walk away.

My bestfriend laughed at me: "Sabi sayo enlightened siya eh". We both expected the reaction in some way, since Aris and I were planning to end up exactly like the beggar when we were very philosophical back in college. Enlightened, so we went on.

By the time we passed a group of police man, we've decided to call it a night. But I intend to go on with my project. I walked the Magsaysay Street. I was hoping to see the aetas, but I only saw a sleeping vagabond. I didn't wake him, but simply placed a blanket beside him, hoping that he'll wake up from cold only to find a warm greeting in front of him.

Starting to lose hope, I changed plans and walked the dark Gordon street instead. The place didn't change much. During the naval base occupation, the street was filled with American-inspired bars; Now it's Korean-inspired. Different people but the same old faces.

After rounding the place twice, I found no beggars. So I started walking home.

At the corner of 6th and Gordon, I heard jolly kids playing in front of the panaderia. They were street kids.

"Sino sa inyong gustong kumo..?" I asked. But before I can finish they shouted "KUMOT!". Like a palarong pambansa game, the kids dived for the blankets. I can't blame them for not sharing with one another, since they're having a hard life; and begging is a very competitive work.

I bought some bread to compensate for those who didn't receive any blankets. But the chinese lady who owned the panaderia started shouting them threatening to call the Police.

The kids ran away before I could even give the bread. But before they all leave, a kid approached me quickly and said:

"Salamat kuya sa kumot!". Good kid, and to think that he was one of those who didn't receive anything at all.

---
Thanks for reading, please consider doing the same project, or you can share a story or two at http://thebeggarstories.blogspot.com

Kuyakoy

Two barakos in the family is like having barbarians for sons. It's not that my kuya and I fight/argue most of the time when we were kids, but it's just that we've got so little things in common; and I guess in our case, opposite repels.

My brother was the knight of the altar who would like to be a priest. I was the young artist who doesn't want anything to do with the church. I was the smart ass; he was the desciplinarian kuya. I was the kid always listed in the honor roll; he's got dyslexia.

But whatever happens, Bro will always be my kuya and I will always be the bunso.

Earlier today, Bro and I were able to rekindle the lost childhood/brotherhood I've been missing for so long now. Just for fun, we decided to work out in the gym. He was planning to lose some weight, and I was planning to trim down my belly. Since he has been in the gym for quite some time now, he showed me the basics of the process.

It was like the first time I took a bike ride with him pushing and supporting me along the way. I remember that he pulled me hard when I was about to get hit by a speeding car.

"12 reps, 2 sets. Wag sobra baka magkasakit ka" I smiled and followed obediently like before.

Walking home, we were able to talk about life, work, family; about almost everything. Though my body still hurts, I know that I will have another bonding session with my brother lifting weights. :)

Before Sunset

It's early morning.
The breeze is cold enough to enter my bones; yet my brain is in Paris.
I'm watching a smart conversation of a couple in my cathode-ray tube monitor.
They met 9 nine years after a failed meeting in a train station in Venice.
He showed up as agreed a year earlier; She stood him up for a reason.

He wrote a book to find her.
She found him.

They found each other.
Surreal reminiscence until his 7:30 flight.

They talked and walked
He was prolonging time
She was lost in their world

It was a chance they've been longing for
she sang him a song
She danced
He will miss the flight;
just Before Sunset

Things in my mind right now

I've listed here things I'm thinking right now:

Things in my mind right now

I've listed here things I'm thinking right now:

1. nothing

Amnesia (inspired by a true story)

Our mind works like a computer. Mine just got reformatted.

The woman beside me, who introduced herself as my sister, told me everything about the accident; How my car plunged into a dark alley after I've missed the sharp curve; and that I drove drunk like any other nights.

Lying in the hospital bed with a broken leg and a fractured skull, I got numerous visits from people I can't remember. However, today would be an extra special, the woman/my sister said. I will receive a visit from my family who was away for so many years.

Why were they away? I asked my sister. She seemed sad with my question and answered. "You were away"

There was a knock on the door. The woman/my sister opened the door and a crowd poured inside the small room.

The children came in first. They were laughing and they were carrying fruits. I looked at my sister; and her, knowing my wondering, whispered that the children are our grandchildren from my eldest son.

My eldest son came in crying. He hugged me tightly. It was a weird feeling being hugged by a stranger; but his embrace seemed familiar.

The rest of my sons and daughters did the same thing. They embraced me awkwardly. It was my first time; and it was theirs.

I was happily crying with them trying to memorize their names when I noticed a beautiful woman standing at the back of the door. I asked my sister who she was since I've never seen someone so beautiful before.

My sister laughed and said that the woman was my wife. My ex-wife to be exact, since we've never seen each other for 20 years.

She was crying and I was looking at her intently. Why would I let go of someone so beautiful? What kind of person was I? Why would I stay away from this happy family?

My questions were replaced by the sound of the knocking on the door. My ex-wife opened the door and there stood a man with graying hair just like mine. He looked at me and smiled.

"Lolo" my grandchildren shouted. "Dad" said my youngest daughter. They took him by the hand and walked him towards me.

We shook hands silently.

I just met my ex-wife's husband.

They left early that day. Unfortunately, my ex-wife found the situation a bit uncomfortable. I never even got to talk to her.

It was a 20-minute visit; Just enough time to know my old self.

Familia

Why I stay amidst desire of earthly wealth;
Why I enjoy every step in life; even if I stumble a lot
Why I laugh and cry so hard;
Yet keep my face straight as storms crushes

inside my every emotion
Why I can endure miles of pain
Why I live happily
Why I ask things about my being
Why I desire more

For every end of the day
everything that I do
I'll end up walking home

When It's Raining Coffee Black

It's raining and I'm heating myself with a cup of coffee; A perfect early morning break.

Since I'm taking a break from my freelance work, I might as well write about a cup of rain under the pouring coffee.



Why I love the rain
---------------------

Reminds me of my childhood friends. We loved to play, wearing nothing but rain.

Suspended classes

It helped me made Jody say "yes". It's probably a common movie theme, but try to imagine a couple fitted inside an umbrella walking under the rain.

My bestfriend Aris and I wrote a song about it back in College. The song is still our best collaboration so far.

It washed away my bluebook containing a grade of sinko.

My father and I walked under it on our way home 3 years ago. Smiling, we walked without haste. We were laughing on our mistake since we've agreed that it won't rain and umbrellas won't be necessary. It's a great bonding moment for a father and son.

It accompanied my sadness

It accompanied my happiness

It makes me sleepy



Why I love coffee
---------------------
It gave me enough strength to review for my exams. I even enjoyed it so much to the point that it gave me insomnia, until now.

It helped my social skills. I made coffee for my friends back in college whenever I lose a bet or two.

It made me sober; well at least it has a psychological effect on me whenever I got drunk.

I used to smoke; and there's no perfect match for a stick of cigarette other than a hot cup of coffee...aside from the match of course.

It's black and bitter

Jody loves it more than I did; and I love her more than she does for coffee; and I love coffee as well as she did. Ha?! Let's just say we both love coffee and we share a cup of it everyday.

Almost everyone I know likes it as well as I do

It accompanied my sadness

It accompanied my happiness

It keeps me awake

When It's Raining Coffee Black

It's raining and I'm heating myself with a cup of coffee; A perfect early morning break.

Since I'm taking a break from my freelance work, I might as well write about a cup of rain under the pouring coffee.


Why I love the rain
---------------------

• Reminds me of my childhood friends. We loved to play, wearing nothing but rain.
• suspended classes
• It helped me made Jody say "yes". It's probably a common movie theme, but try to imagine a couple fitted inside an umbrella walking under the rain.
• My bestfriend Aris and I wrote a song about it back in College. The song is still our best collaboration so far.
• It washed away my bluebook containing a grade of sinko.
• My father and I walked under it on our way home 3 years ago. Smiling, we walked without haste. We were laughing on our mistakes since we've agreed that it won't rain and umbrellas won't be necessary. It's a great bonding moment for a father and son.
• It accompanied my sadness
• It accompanied my happiness
• It makes me sleepy
  

Why I love coffee
---------------------

• It gave me enough strength to review for my exams. I even enjoyed it so much to the point that it gave me insomnia, until now.
• It helped my social skills. I made coffee for my friends back in college whenever I lose a bet or two.
• It made me sober; well at least it has a psychological effect on me whenever I got drunk.
• I used to smoke; and there's no perfect match for a stick of cigarette other than a hot cup of coffee...aside from the match of course.
• It's black and bitter
• Jody loves it more than I did; and I love her more than she does for coffee; and I love coffee as well as she did. Ha?! Let's just say we both love coffee and we share a cup of it everyday.
• Almost everyone I know likes it as well as I do
• It accompanied my sadness
• It accompanied my happiness
• It keeps me awake

I think that's all about it. Back to work.

The Man who Ate God

The Man who Ate God
by Ryan Sandagon

written back in 2003

I found it interesting to write about the second coming of Christ. Though this story is a tragedy, I enjoyed writing it.

Reborn
Threshold Laboratory, New Jersey (03.11.07-20:45)

"Where did it come from?" Senator Thomas asked, touching the glass that shields the test tube Baby.

"From the shroud" The young Japanese doctor retort. "Actually, we just found the pattern of the DNA strand in the shroud and we...Can you hold this please?" he said as he handed a fidgeting mechanical object in the senator's hands.

"As I was saying" The Japanese doctor continued. "We duplicated the pattern from an embryo of true human and whoala... In short we fixed the strand to have him"

"So what do we call him? The born-again Messiah?" The senator said, laughing at his own joke. "No." The doctor said, quite disappointed with the senator's remark.

"We'll name him Jesus."

Politics
White House, Washington D.C., (03.12.07-12:34)

"John why don't you eat some of my wife's specialties...it's so good that you could actually forget how she almost ruined my campaign.. Har har" President Robertson said handing some half-cooked eggplant to Senator Thomas.

"No thanks Mister President, but I'm here to discuss the nature of the...uhmm" Paused Senator Thomas, looking directly at the painting at the wall, acting as if being watched.

"Don't worry about the camera John, I asked them to turn it off. I just told them that we're going to talk about my wife...har..har.." said the president with his I'm-a-genius look. The Senator just laughed..."asshole " he thought.

"Mr President...the..uhmm....He...I mean it was born ." Terrified, the senator said.

"Ow. " The president replied, dropping the eggplant on his plate.

The silence was deafening.

"I never thought that we'd become..." Said the president, breaking the silence.

"What sir?"

The president looked directly at the Senator as if terrified and excited at the same time.

"We'd become God!"

Media
CNN tower, New York (03.12.07-13:50)

Sarah Johnson was talking to an important 'mole' on the phone. She would bite her lips once in awhile, stare blankly at the wall, and after a few seconds would take some notes. She would later on call her crew to find Dr. Akinawa in Baltimore. She believed that she's on to something big, although the details are not so clear. She only knew that the government has a project only known as "The Second Son".

Secrets
Baltimore (03.12.07-20:31)

"I'm sorry Sarah but there's no such project" said Dr. Akinawa as he hastily walked away from the reporter. Sarah, being a professional interviewer, walked with the doctor while asking several questions. To the doctor's annoyance, he confronted the reporter by shouting, "IF YOU WANT THE TRUTH THEN GO TO WASHINGTON! The president we'll be having a state-of-the-nation address tomorrow and you'll find what you want. Go and leave me alone"

Revelations
Washington (03.12.08-20:00)

Sarah had a seat reserved at the second row, she was late. Other reporters were quite surprised with the urgent call from the White House. They were assuming that it has got to do with an excuse for the 1st lady's erratic behavior last campaign, which they would later on realize to be wrong.

The president approached excitedly, with his usual smirks and grins. He eyed every individual in the room. This would be one of the historical moments of his career, he thought. He then started with a morning greeting.

"Today would be one of the most historical moments of our life. We have found a cure to our problems, answers to our questions, and better future without famine and wars," he stopped and swallowed for a moment. "Today science and faith united to bring an answer. We have welcomed a birth of a new beginning...The rebirth of Christ."

The room was then filled with murmurs. Sarah knew what the President was talking about, the project was proposed by Senator Thomas about 2 years ago, but was rejected by the majority of the people. She never thought that the president would take the project seriously. After all it would reduce his votes from most of the Christian community. She was occupied by her thoughts but was distracted when the president spoke one more time.

"This project was kept secret to avoid unnecessary violent reactions from most of the Christians. I am a faithful Christian and I too had doubts at the beginning. But imagine the possible goodness it would do to us. Imagine a Christ leading our country, we would doubtlessly be successful in every decision we make. Imagine the world without sickness, without wars, without crimes. Think of the infinite possibilities. You might think that I have lost my sanity, but I feel like John the Baptist, letting the world know about the coming of Christ." The president said excitedly like a mad man. He later talked about how it was made, from what sample the structure of DNA was replicated.

None of it matters to the reporters. The idea of Christ cloned would be enough headlines for years.

Most of the media people started to talk to their cell phones after the speech. Questions were not allowed after the speech, since the Press Secretary was also surprised from the president's behavior. He too thought that the president was losing sanity.

Sarah called for his crew. "Where to?" asked the cameraman. "Dr Akinawa, he's got a lot of explaining to do"

Natural
Baltimore (03.13.07-17:31)

"Dr Akinawa, the people ought to know about this situation. PLEASE LET US IN." said Sarah as she knocked at the door. "Leave me alone, my work at the government is finished," replied by a faint voice inside the apartment. "The president mentioned your name at his speech", then the door opened. "He did?" asked Dr.Akinawa in confusion.

"Actually no, but he mentioned a lot of the details", she replied. "He must have lost his sanity. Being a fanatic to the idea of being a prophet...I heard him once, during his visit to the lab. Though I'm afraid I can't tell you much of the details, and I would not endanger myself. I can only tell you some details which I believe would be given to you by the government later on. You are a friend Sarah, you have presented most of my works to CNN, but I'm still bound to secrecy," he explained.

Sarah responded with a smile. "Now can I come in?"

Headline
Washington (03.13.07-20:00)

"Mr President, I think you should watch this," the president's PA said. The room was now filled with important leaders with different opinions about the issue. But the room was filled with silence as the CNN news broadcasted important news from Sarah Johnson. They knew her as a dangerous reporter because she knows too much.

"...some information about the cloned Christ. We were informed that the Christ was not in normal condition. He grew faster that a usual person, 10 years of growth everyday. He is unable to speak as of this moment and would be improbable to live longer than the president has informed the people. We are not yet sure about the whereabouts of the child but..."

"IS THIS TRUE ROBERT?" asked the president furiously.

"Well,...umm.. it was just a minor problem. We could create another one every 10 days" Sen. Thomas retorted indignantly. "What...to manufacture Christs every 10 days? This was not part of the plan Robert.", then silence.

"How about the part where He could not talk, was that true?" asked the president staring at Sen. Thomas.

The senator slowly walked towards the president then whispered," I thought that He was going to be a puppet leader. That He was to be used to have more..." But before he could finish, the president called his PA and scheduled for another SONA.

"You'll be blamed for this Robert. You and your Jesus"

Suffering
Times Square (03.15.07-10:00)

Sarah was trying to find a place near the stadium but the place was so crowded. Most of the people gathered near the stage, where Sen. Thomas will be hung, were vagabonds. But that's reality she thought, majority of the people are either homeless or dying from famine. That's why they find it amusing to watch a Senator sentenced to die.

If only she had a permit to be on the front row, she thought. Unfortunately she was relieved from work after reporting Dr. Akinawa's information. The president personally called the board of directors of CNN to have her removed from job.

From afar she saw the former Sen. Thomas wearing a prisoner's uniform. Uproar exploded from the people. Some shouted obscenities, others just yelled like animals. Though she was wondering to what purpose the large post in the stage was.

To her surprise, an old man was carrying a large wood against his back. He was bald and was in a deteriorating state. Then she realized what this show was all about.

The president spoke inside a secured glass. He was used to assassinations.

"We were deceived by this leader," pointing at Sen. Thomas. "He made us believe that this man beside him was the reborn of Messiah. Har har har." Most of the crowd laughed with him. "Fortunately I was quite intelligent enough, and have prevented the country from much more famine." Some of the people did not agree and booed him instead. "To their treachery, they will suffer...DEATH!" said the president as if presenting a show in a circus. The crowd wildly roared with delight.

"How would you like Sen. Thomas to die?" he asked the crowd and they responded with "HANG HIM TO DEATH!"

"How about this hoax Jesus?"

To the crowd it was a delightful show. They always wanted someone to blame and the idea of having God being blamed to every misfortunes they have was appealing. They all shouted:

"CRUCIFY HIM!"

Sarah could not believe the things she was seeing. She wanted to blame herself for the reports she made, but she only wanted the truth. She never expected for things to turn out this way. The only thing she could do was to cry.

The hanging of Sen. Thomas was cheered by people, but they were waiting for the main show. The crucifixion of a man named Jesus.

The old man slowly walked in front of the crowd, as two men wearing a coat and tie, probably presidential guards, pushed him.

The cheering was getting louder. The president made some gestures which made the crowd even more ecstatic. "Should we crucify Him, with a large H? harharhar."

"CRUCIFY! CRUCIFY! CRUCIFY" they shouted.

Sarah closed her eyes and prayed. She was crying from guilt of all the people. She was crying for hope. She was crying until the shouting slowly faded.

Murmurs suddenly filled the crowd. The president was surprised with the reactions from the crowd. He then bent forward to look at what most people where pointing at. To his a surprise the old man was now full of beams streaming out from His body. The hand was bit visible and some people even argued that they saw some wounds on it, and then came a whisper to everyone's ear.

"I have given you a chance to live the natural way of goodness. Yet you still followed your own sufferings. " The voice filled the stadium. But unknown to the people inside was that the voice was heard even outside, even in the whole world.

"I will not send you to the lake of fire or to the valley of death. Rather I will give you my last miracle."

Sarah did not understand the silence of the people. All she heard was soft sobs and some soft whispers from crowd, such as "forgive me" or "sorry"...even the president who was crying with tears. She also saw a lot of people like her who was confused with the behavior of most of the crowd.

What confused her more was the blinding light from the stadium, slowly feeding her with happiness. She no longer felt her physical existence but rather the happiness to be with the old man. She walked towards the stadium together with other people like her. People who choose to live the natural way of goodness.

The Miracle Eden, (few days after creation)

God has removed the Tree of Good and Evil from the Eden and has commanded the Snake who guards it to turn into an Angel again. It was no longer needed He said to Himself. He would later on create Adam and Eve. But for the meantime, He will welcome some new souls. Including a girl who used to be Sarah Johnson.

A Love Story

A Love Story

Written by my Jody last year (Oct 18, 2006)

Nostalgia is acting up on me and it's probably a mere ploy to stop me from finishing my econ paper due this Saturday but I can't stop staring at this photo-me stuck on my corkboard for probably the last two years.

It was 2 shots on blue background: two people both make funny faces at the camera--oblivious to the world.

This is probably how I want to best remember this love affair-- that it was fun and crazy and special... three years of work and play and tears and laughter and lots of movies and coffee and Hany coins and after-dinner walks around UP and letters and songs and Kenny Roger's Roaster's Strawberry cream and fishballs and mosquito bites in Sunken Garden and endless tambay in the UPPA tambayan and eating "cart-food" and long hot jeepney rides going back to UP from SM North and watching puppies on pet stores and dining in lutong bahay and lutong kapitbahay and Liempo King and eating tapsilog in Rodic's, attending Mass, attending Simbang Gabi and eating bibingka in the extravagantly lit Quezon Hall and pencil drawn portraits and composed love songs and picnics and jogging and movie marathons in my laptop and just endless, endless conversation

Living with him is a totally different experience which entailed even longer conversations while breastfeeding the baby, new stories involving trains and cars and dinosaurs while changing diapers, watching DVDs while the baby is sleeping, watching Thomas the Train together when the baby is awake, still holding hands while walking to the grocery, still endless coffee while washing dishes, more coffee while walking to grad school...

Then my eyes move to a picture beside the first-- which contains a face so open and unguarded-- a perfect mesh of my face and my husband's....

... and I can't help but think that life is truly filled with special surprises.

colored

A great poem.

---------
Poem of 2006, Written by an African Kid

When I born, I black
When I grow up, I black
When I go in Sun, I black
When I scared, I black
When I sick, I black
And when I die, I still black

And you white fellow
When you born, you pink
When you grow up, you white
When you go in sun, you red
When you cold, you blue
When you scared, you yellow
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you grey

And you calling me colored ??

The Late Ryan

I am guilty of being late to work almost everyday.
So to start of with my 3rd Anniversary with the company, I plan to beat the odds and perfect the month of November without being late.

But not today.

Today is the 15th of November. Halfway there.

I woke up early enough to be on time. But unlike any other day, the restroom was taken so I had to wait. This wasn't a problem since I have all the time in the world; so I waited more. I took a bath and was able to compensate for the the few minutes of delay by skipping shampoo. Oh, I also skipped brushing my teeth since I can do that in the office. I just have to keep my mouth shut the entire travel.

Ready to go.

I got into the SBFZ gate and was greeted with a long line of angry cursing people. The line apparently was due to the newly installed counting machine similar to the LRT.

By that time, it dawned to me that I can be late.

Unable to open my catathonically-nuclear exploding mouth, I mumbled and smirked as I pass the guard on duty.

My hope was a taxi ride. I asked the conductor to find me one.
"Boss marami pang naghihintay ng 'hope'; tsaka nakalabas ng lahat ng 'hope' namin. Hintay kayo ng 'hope'?"

Nope.

I had to think and decide fast. I can either purchase a ferrari so I can make it on time OR I can ride the regular bus transport. I don't know how to drive, so I took the bus instead.

The bus stop was crowded; The overloaded minibus just left; And once again I waited.

I looked at my cellphone and it blinked back with 7:50. I still got 20 minutes to spare.

I heard the sound of engine in front of me. Along with it is the sound of fate laughing at me as a joke. It wasn't a mini bus, it was a a big regular bus - it needs more time to fill the seats, it can't take the minibus short cut and it runs slower than the new minibus. Ergo, I am going to be late.

When all hope is gone, fate truly plays with you more. The driver decided to leave earlier, even though there were empty seats.

I smiled. The travel was fast, and I might make it on time. Well, that was before the bus decided to refuel. I waited the longest refueling in my entire life. My hope drinching into the fuel tank.

By that time. I accepted the fact of being late.

"Walang Fedex? " no response
"Walang Airport? " no response
"Lahat Cubi? " I nodded looking at the others. If there was one who would've refused, then I might have talked him into it until he passed out from my bad breath. Luckily there was none.

"Short cut tayo.". Yes!

The short cut the driver was referring to was a shorter short cut than that of the minibus. I smiled, playing with the words shorter cut, shorter time, not late, perfect attendance in my mind.

By the time we got to the office, I did not look at my cellphone since time was very precious. I shouted "Para manong at salamat po".

The bus stopped. The conductor frowned at me. He smelled the victory from my mouth. I smiled and closed my mouth again.

I run towards the office. The bundy clock displayed 8:10. I pulled the timecard, placed it inside the bundy clock.

Happily, I looked at my time card and froze. Printed in it was the numbers 8:11.

I looked at the bundy clock and we stared silently for a moment.

"Wait a minute.." I said. It didn't and I was a minute too late.

Blinded - a ghost story (one of my creepiest story so far)

"There are 45 million blind people and 135 million visually impaired people worldwide. All of them seeing the world in a different light."

------------

I am... No. I was an eye doctor. I study and fix eyes, so that people would view the world clearer; however, this principle of mine shattered one Tuesday morning at a public hospital I used to work at.

All of this because I made a conversation with a stranger.

It was 10 am. I sat down on the waiting area to take a break from a succesful surgery involving an eye accident of an old man . Public hospitals are commonly filled with patients; but to an unknown reason, I found myself alone staring at the clear pavement. I was eyeing the light reflected on the floor when the double doors opened.

A boy of 8, sitting on wheelchair, was guided by a woman. They moved slowly until they reached the end corner of the hall. A nurse approached them from behind the counter. While the nurse and the woman were talking, the boy looked at me. I looked back and seeing directly I saw egg-white eyes. Without pupil and retina.

"He is blinded", a man just a few inches away from me said. Out of surprise, I blinked and the connection between the boy and me was broken. I looked at my shoulders and saw a man sitting beside me.

He was an old man with untidy hair and dark clothing. He could have passed as a beggar except for the confident look in his eyes. He was looking at me intently, waiting for a response.

"Sorry?", I asked.

"The boy just got blinded.", he responded. If the man knew that I was a doctor, he did not show it. He was acting as if he knew what he was talking about; and I was just a listener and not an expert on the matter of blindness.

"Do you know the boy?" I asked.

"No. But I know this" He took out a pencil and a piece of paper from his pocket. He began drawing and scribbling; and continued "I know that the boy, probably a few hours ago, was able to see. Just by assumption, he might be playing on one of those school playground...", he stopped and began looking at the boy. He drew the way an artist would draw his subject.

I was feeling sorry for the man. He was in the wrong ward. Feeling my disinterest, he looked at me as if saying he was not crazy at all. " THE BOY GOT BLINDED BY A GHOST!", he said loud enough for our conversation.

He was crazy. My mind was racing on calling the nurses just a few steps away from us. But the nurses seemed to be absorbed with the the boy in the wheelchair.

I looked back at the man. Calmer, he whispered "The boy was playing, when a ghost approached him. The ghost was no older than the boy. They talked and played like normal kids would do. They both feel alone in the play ground." He swallowed and looked at the kid. "When the boy was about to leave, the ghost would not permit him. Probably afraid of being alone again. The boy got afraid and the ghost got angry. Just before he left, the ghost made the unthinkable. He blinded the boy by doing this."

He showed me his drawing. His hand was shaking, but the drawing was clearly haunting.




The drawing showed, two boy with their heads entertwined like a Siamese twins; only, one of the boy was thin and floating in midair.

I was terrified and felt goosebumps on my shoulders. The man, probably was dillusional. I looked at the boy away from us, and imagined the man's drawing. It was a sick and scary image.

"How did you know?", I said with my mouth dry and gasping for breath.

I waited for a reply, but all I heard was silence. I looked back and the man was placing his pencil and the folded drawing in his pocket.

"Would you like to know why the ghost did it?" he asked. I nodded.

"The ghost died in the playground 20 years ago. He was alone since then. He got no one to talk to, and no one to play with. Until that boy came." he pointed at the boy.

"They had a connection. But when the boy was leaving, the ghost could not bare to wait another eternity to find someone to play with. So instead of haunting the playground, he chose to haunt the kid by immersing his eyes with the boy's eyes. Now the ghost can see the boy all the time; while the boy see nothing but the ghost."

"That's one sick story. So who do you think you are? The Angel of Death?", I said.
As I was about to stand up, the man laughed hard. I stopped and stared at him.

"Angel of Death? You're one funny doctor. I like you.", he chuckled a bit before halting to a stop. He was silent when he whispered. "Can you keep a secret?"

Before I could reply, he moved forward. He was an inch away from me; his breathing blowing hot air against my ears; his stinch soaked my nostrils; his whisper like a thunder.

"You're the only one who thinks I'm alive"

He moved forward, burying deep inside my face, He was blocking my sight with whiteness.

The last thing I saw was an old ghost floating in front of me. His face kissing my face. Our eyes entertwined. I screamed and he screamed back at me.

From then on, I was blinded.

Hallowe'en Resolution

People die every week a block away from us.

"Where the St. Martin's funeral service? But only the remains are being sent there. They don't actually die there."

I'm not talking about the dead; I'm talking about living. The ones left behind.

"So what do you gonna do about it?"

I'll visit the dying, and will pay respect to the remains of their love ones.

"But your a stranger"

Well, that's the point.

Breaking a BLOG!

I might take a break from writing blogs.

Having extracted all my personal thoughts, I realized that I need to focus more time on writing long stories, writing new songs, studying the new AS3, studying 3d, studying for my masters and spending more time with the bed.

But then again, I write blogs in less than a minute; I guess it won't hurt to share a thought or two...or three.

Skitzu

With written words, I am mouthful. I talk a lot. I never get the dead air silence. I get to work and rework my sentences.

In verbal communication, I stummer. I mumble a lot. I use gestures and facial expression instead of words - and I'm terribly funny (yeah right)

So the question is whether I really am the same person, or I might be suffering from dual personality.

So I made a thought experiment.

If my capacity to write is to be removed, will I still be who I am now. Thinking of the extreme, what if I got blind, deaf and mute; would I still be the same person now.

For sure, I still am. What's different is the interpretation of the person reading or talking to me.

So I guess the question I should be asking regarding identity is whether you are still who you are (as a reader and listener), no matter who I am (as a write and a speaker).

Talking about egocentrism.

Remember Thy First Kiss

My first kiss was an ordinarily cute moment - but nevertheless it was my first.I
told Jody that our first kiss wasn't mine, so she listen intently with my story;

It was with a pretty girl named Babyline - and it was in a fairy tale play in Grade 2 . I still can't recall whether the play was about Snow White or Sleeping Beauty, but I remember playing the Prince Charming part.

During our practice, it was agreed that a book will be placed between our lips during the kissing scene; otherwise there won't be a magical kiss which would awaken the princess from her cursed slumber.

I remember that we closed our eyes and moved slowly - after all it was just a book . Unknowingly that the book was removed, we kissed.

It was wet.

During the play, we decided that I would just kiss her cheek and she would kiss mine; no more book in between.

Silence of the lambs

The Unbearable Silence

One thing I cannot endure is the silent treatment. It's not the audible
sound of silence or the awkwardness , but rather the torture of assuming
what the response could have been.

I happen to be my own enemy, one side of my brain dictates optimism while
the other pessimism.

Try it sometimes; just don't say something to me, and I'll end up in limbo.

--------------------------

The Animal Human

Why is it that we see ourselves as a higher being from other animals? I
encounter this dilemma while watching a moth being trapped in a spider
web. Slowly, the spider moves towards its prey; injecting it with a poison
which will paralyze the later.

My dilemma is whether to stop the brutal killing; or to let the hungry
spider eat its meal.

Earlier today, my friend Phutie shared something to ponder about (taken
from Google). It reads:

"What are you going to do if you saw an endangered animal eating an
endangered plant?"

Thinking about it, I might just act with my instincts; meaning I would let
my feral insight take over me, not rationalizing the matter. We are
animals after all. If the endangered plant happens to be of importance to
me (i.e. happens to be my food), then I'll drive the endangered animal
away. Natural instinct dictates that I should compete for survival.

Sadly and fortunately, we have the burden of rational thinking. We can
weigh and consider variables before doing anything; Will the endangered
animal be extinct after the plant's extinction? Does the animal have
alternate food? Questions will go on and on until we are satisfied with
answers.

Soon after answering the questions, will we only realize that the
endangered plant has been eaten and with the endangered animal intoxicated
and killed from food poisoning.

Time Machine

I truly believe in time machine. Last Wednesday I was worried about what to do with the long weekend - now here I am, on a Sunday evening,wondering why I haven't done enough.

Balikatan Baliktaran

Baguio is well known for strawberry jams and cold weather; Davao is well known for Durian; Bicol is well known for Pili nuts and Kupras

Olongapo, my home city, is well known for prostitution.

This stereotyping, however, has a funny twist last Wednesday as witnessed by Jody.

Two young American soldiers were walking along the busy Magsaysay road. They stopped in front of a Muslim selling pirated DVD.

"Debidee sir (I'm making a poor imitation, I know.) GREYT kuwaalite films" said the Muslim pointing to the pornographic flicks he was selling.

"Umm how about women. Do you know where we can get beautiful women?" asked one of the soldiers. Taken aback by the question, probably since the Muslim was not even close to being a pimp, he took the chubby woman beside him and said the following:

"Beyutipul Woman ser? Hir see my wayp. She is beyutipul, isn't she?" Said the Muslim joking.

"I like you, you're funny" said the other soldier. They bought and left the Muslim laughing and feeling happy with his remarks.