I was greeted virtually by an old kababata friend. Like the usual response, I said I miss the old timed and if it wasn't much trouble, I would like my greetings to be extended to his Mother whom I considered as my second Mom. He replied the next day saying that he was glad to hear from me again -- and as it seems, I wasn't informed that his mother, Mommy Baby, died two years ago from aneurism.
My reaction was unclear: I felt sorry for the loss, and memories of my childhood with Mommy Baby flooded me: baked birthday cakes, cigarette smoke inside the house, Mt. Pinatubo with her shouting in panic and her constant teasing about my butotoy. But what struck me worst was the idea that we lost her two years ago.
Until now, I can't find the strength to tell my mother that her best friend is already gone. But I guess Jody is right saying that my mama is a strong woman -- and it will be peaceful and righteous to tell her so that she can include Mommy in her prayers.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
040201
It's a day after the April fool's and fools do rush in, like we did.
.......
"Bhaze and Alfie's getting married in UP chapel." Jody said smiling happily. Her announcement took me back seven years underneath the dome of a Catholic sanctuary.
This same smile made the summer heat of April 2, 2001 a vague and warm greeting of first love. It was the last day of the 2nd semester, my 3rd year in College. My sweating forehead dried-up even before the salty droplets fell. Jody accompanied me earlier to submit my last Humanities 2 requirement to the faculty center, then she said that we should meet in the UP chapel after lunch.
I wanted to ask her out for lunch, but she was meeting her parents and she was to leave me and the campus behind for the Summer break. The idea was a dreadful topic,since we've spent more and more of the days being dependent on each other. It was funny and weird since a few nights ago while sitting on the Engineering steps, she asked whether I was courting her and in response I took her hand in mine. In this very informal way, we became a couple.
I told her that I had my lunch at Rodic's in the shopping center; but truthfully, and due to my still boyish & romantic ideas, I waited for her near the church not minding my stomach's constant rumbling. Funny that such waiting seems blurred in my memory, although I can remember being impatient with time for prolonging the agony of a lunch break. Then I saw her enter the Church wearing her lovely maroon blouse I grew accustomed with.
I followed her near the empty chapel resembling a large half buried eggshell. I walked inside the circular lawn until I was covered by the circular ceiling. The birds above, were happily chirping which i found amusing; but then again, my amusement would diminish seeing markings on the floor due to unnecessary droppings.
Jody saw me and motioned me to sit beside her just in front of the wooden crucifix. She took out something from her bag which was covered in transparent plastic: A take-out pizza fresh from her lunch date. She knew I didn't take my lunch. I placed the pizza inside my bag; it can wait until we got out.We sat there, held hands and silently uttered our own thoughts; she was praying, and I was trying my best to appear praying while eavesdropping and staring at her closed eyes. She caught me the instant she opened her eyes, and smiled at my pretension.
"Walk tayo ng makain mo yung pizza. Pinabaon ni Mommy at Tita yan" she said smiling, while she closed her bag.
That moment I wanted to tell her, that even though I wasn't her boyfriend yet, I'll marry her in the UP chapel someday. She probably saw some ideas leaking out from my eyes, that she took my hand and we soon found ourselves walking outside the church.
She was laughing at the way I ate the pizza as we walked. "Anong nakakatawa po?" I asked and she shrugged in response. Years later, while being pregnant with Jas, she would tell me how she enjoys seeing me eat.
"Saan tayo?" I asked her knowing that we were running out of time -- they were to leave at around 3pm. She can't make up her mind and said that she just wanted to be with me more. There were troubles in her thoughts as she constantly wrinkled her forehead and nose, as if arguing with herself.
"Upo tayo" she said when we were in front of the Sunken Garden. The place looks more like a large crater of lawn rather than a garden. My mind played with the thoughts of the COCC Sunday marching on the lawn as I almost fainted in front of a female battalion commander I addressed as"Sir" -
she cursed me with "paalam ka kung hihimatayin ka" along with a strong thud on my chest. A thud that ended my train of thoughts, and I felt happy thinking that I was with Jody instead of "Sir"-- though Jody was wearing a confused face since we walked away from the chapel.
We sat under the shade of of the century-old tree. Comforting her thoughts, I sat behind her with my hands enveloping her and letting the palms fall on her hands. She was leaning on my left knee while trying to stare across the green grasses. I was telling her stories to cheer her gloomy mood since she was probably sad of the Summer to come;then she spoke..."Oo, tayo na." It was probably the sweetest sound hearing her say those words.
I smiled, with a bit overly-exaggerated tone I said "YES!". She laughed at my reaction with a slight shyness, probably trying to hide from the passing students. I didn't mind and with a driven impulse I intend to hug her tightly. She was about to look my way, and I was going to tease her when friction of soft lips made us stop and moved away from each other.
"Fist kiss!" I almost shouted. "Hindi ah" she said as her cheeks became too red amplifying the color of her blouse. I was so happy I had not heard her cellphone beeping: A message from her sundo. It was time to let go.
She bade goodbye after I walked her to PCED where her parents checked-in for the evening. I remember walking towards the dorm with mixed emotions of happiness (for having a formal relationship with Jody) -- and sadness (for the idea of not seeing her in the next two months.)
The next sem, we met by accident in an IKOT ride. I was seated at the far-end left side and she sat in front of me by surprise. We held hands as the passengers awkwardly trying to load and unload.
We miss UP, because it contains memories of our many "first" stories together; and going back to see friends getting married makes it even more exciting.
Happy 7th year Jody. Even though you insist that it wasn't our first kiss, I still believe it was.
.......
"Bhaze and Alfie's getting married in UP chapel." Jody said smiling happily. Her announcement took me back seven years underneath the dome of a Catholic sanctuary.
This same smile made the summer heat of April 2, 2001 a vague and warm greeting of first love. It was the last day of the 2nd semester, my 3rd year in College. My sweating forehead dried-up even before the salty droplets fell. Jody accompanied me earlier to submit my last Humanities 2 requirement to the faculty center, then she said that we should meet in the UP chapel after lunch.
I wanted to ask her out for lunch, but she was meeting her parents and she was to leave me and the campus behind for the Summer break. The idea was a dreadful topic,since we've spent more and more of the days being dependent on each other. It was funny and weird since a few nights ago while sitting on the Engineering steps, she asked whether I was courting her and in response I took her hand in mine. In this very informal way, we became a couple.
I told her that I had my lunch at Rodic's in the shopping center; but truthfully, and due to my still boyish & romantic ideas, I waited for her near the church not minding my stomach's constant rumbling. Funny that such waiting seems blurred in my memory, although I can remember being impatient with time for prolonging the agony of a lunch break. Then I saw her enter the Church wearing her lovely maroon blouse I grew accustomed with.
I followed her near the empty chapel resembling a large half buried eggshell. I walked inside the circular lawn until I was covered by the circular ceiling. The birds above, were happily chirping which i found amusing; but then again, my amusement would diminish seeing markings on the floor due to unnecessary droppings.
Jody saw me and motioned me to sit beside her just in front of the wooden crucifix. She took out something from her bag which was covered in transparent plastic: A take-out pizza fresh from her lunch date. She knew I didn't take my lunch. I placed the pizza inside my bag; it can wait until we got out.We sat there, held hands and silently uttered our own thoughts; she was praying, and I was trying my best to appear praying while eavesdropping and staring at her closed eyes. She caught me the instant she opened her eyes, and smiled at my pretension.
"Walk tayo ng makain mo yung pizza. Pinabaon ni Mommy at Tita yan" she said smiling, while she closed her bag.
That moment I wanted to tell her, that even though I wasn't her boyfriend yet, I'll marry her in the UP chapel someday. She probably saw some ideas leaking out from my eyes, that she took my hand and we soon found ourselves walking outside the church.
She was laughing at the way I ate the pizza as we walked. "Anong nakakatawa po?" I asked and she shrugged in response. Years later, while being pregnant with Jas, she would tell me how she enjoys seeing me eat.
"Saan tayo?" I asked her knowing that we were running out of time -- they were to leave at around 3pm. She can't make up her mind and said that she just wanted to be with me more. There were troubles in her thoughts as she constantly wrinkled her forehead and nose, as if arguing with herself.
"Upo tayo" she said when we were in front of the Sunken Garden. The place looks more like a large crater of lawn rather than a garden. My mind played with the thoughts of the COCC Sunday marching on the lawn as I almost fainted in front of a female battalion commander I addressed as"Sir" -
she cursed me with "paalam ka kung hihimatayin ka" along with a strong thud on my chest. A thud that ended my train of thoughts, and I felt happy thinking that I was with Jody instead of "Sir"-- though Jody was wearing a confused face since we walked away from the chapel.
We sat under the shade of of the century-old tree. Comforting her thoughts, I sat behind her with my hands enveloping her and letting the palms fall on her hands. She was leaning on my left knee while trying to stare across the green grasses. I was telling her stories to cheer her gloomy mood since she was probably sad of the Summer to come;then she spoke..."Oo, tayo na." It was probably the sweetest sound hearing her say those words.
I smiled, with a bit overly-exaggerated tone I said "YES!". She laughed at my reaction with a slight shyness, probably trying to hide from the passing students. I didn't mind and with a driven impulse I intend to hug her tightly. She was about to look my way, and I was going to tease her when friction of soft lips made us stop and moved away from each other.
"Fist kiss!" I almost shouted. "Hindi ah" she said as her cheeks became too red amplifying the color of her blouse. I was so happy I had not heard her cellphone beeping: A message from her sundo. It was time to let go.
She bade goodbye after I walked her to PCED where her parents checked-in for the evening. I remember walking towards the dorm with mixed emotions of happiness (for having a formal relationship with Jody) -- and sadness (for the idea of not seeing her in the next two months.)
The next sem, we met by accident in an IKOT ride. I was seated at the far-end left side and she sat in front of me by surprise. We held hands as the passengers awkwardly trying to load and unload.
We miss UP, because it contains memories of our many "first" stories together; and going back to see friends getting married makes it even more exciting.
Happy 7th year Jody. Even though you insist that it wasn't our first kiss, I still believe it was.
Monday, March 24, 2008
By The Broken Bench (a love story)
Everyday an old man would sit on a rusted iron bench at exactly 4:15 in the afternoon just beside our house. He would rest for a while immersing himself from the view of the playing kids and the lovers strolling hand in hand minding their lovely little world. He would remove his fisherman's hat and would scratch his balding head from time to time. I know this, since I've seen him repeat this routine for so many times now.
There's nothing unusual about it except for the part when the old man have already found a comfortable spot by the old broken bench. At this moment, an old lady, probably just a few years older that him, would sit on the other corner of the bench. She would take her time to find a nice comfy spot to lean on so she can take her knitting out.
By this time, the old man would become wary-looking and would throw silent glances at the woman who disturbed his silent sanctuary. The old lady would ignore this gesture and would resume her knitting as if she was doing it inside her home. This act would go on, until the old woman drop her left hand as if supporting her leaning body. The old man would obviously drop his cane, and by reaching it, he would place his palm against the old woman's hand. All of this would take place in just a few seconds.
Then upon retrieving his cane, the old man would stand up happily and would walk with limping satisfaction towards my spot. The old lady would stare at the leaving old man with a smiling face as well.
My grandfather would greet me in the widest smile you'll ever see as he gets inside our lawn. "I think you should get your grandmother now" he would say as he points towards the old lady by the bench. My grandmother would wave at me with the lovely face which some people say I acquired from her beautiful genes.
Everyday I would witness how my grandparents would repeat their lovely event of accidental meeting, how they became a lovely couple, and how they started a family right in front on where they get to first meet each other.
There's nothing unusual about it except for the part when the old man have already found a comfortable spot by the old broken bench. At this moment, an old lady, probably just a few years older that him, would sit on the other corner of the bench. She would take her time to find a nice comfy spot to lean on so she can take her knitting out.
By this time, the old man would become wary-looking and would throw silent glances at the woman who disturbed his silent sanctuary. The old lady would ignore this gesture and would resume her knitting as if she was doing it inside her home. This act would go on, until the old woman drop her left hand as if supporting her leaning body. The old man would obviously drop his cane, and by reaching it, he would place his palm against the old woman's hand. All of this would take place in just a few seconds.
Then upon retrieving his cane, the old man would stand up happily and would walk with limping satisfaction towards my spot. The old lady would stare at the leaving old man with a smiling face as well.
My grandfather would greet me in the widest smile you'll ever see as he gets inside our lawn. "I think you should get your grandmother now" he would say as he points towards the old lady by the bench. My grandmother would wave at me with the lovely face which some people say I acquired from her beautiful genes.
Everyday I would witness how my grandparents would repeat their lovely event of accidental meeting, how they became a lovely couple, and how they started a family right in front on where they get to first meet each other.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Assorted thoughs and stories hanging in my head
THE MIRACLE PEN
Mrs. Norris was devastated with her husband's sudden death. Mr. Norris, a carpenter, was found dead, being trapped under piles of building debris. He was found clutching a paper, which seems to be his good bye note for his wife. It was a simple letter full of "I love you", "Thank yous" and apologies for leaving his wife so soon. Perplexing, however, was the idea that no pen was found near Mr. Norris' body.
To Mrs. Norris, the pen was a miracle. She imagined that Mr. Norris was given a chance to leave something behind. She was thinking of this with a smile, until a doctor approached her. "Ma'am I'm sorry for the loss. We now know the cause of your husbands' death.. and we found your miracle pen. Your husband died of choking. You see life's a joke sometimes".
Mr. Norris woke up agitated in the middle of the night as he touch his neck. He was sweating freshly from a bad dream; he took a deep breath thinking that never will he write a good bye note, ever.
---------------------------
WATCHING AHEAD
Henry is a murderer, well at least that's the way he will turn out as his future unfolds. He was convinced that he can view the future through his broken television set. At first it was just a hazy and static presentation of the war in Iraq; then the Hurricane Katrina. All events came truthfully after exactly a month.
He was planning to make something useful out of it when he saw his image on the TV screen a month ago. It was as clear and white as it can be: the TV showed the older version of him being convicted of 5 counts of murder. It was reclusion perpetua. He was watching still when the TV reception died from static signal. It was the last thing he saw from the future.
So he hid underneath the bed for a couple of weeks, scared to what will happen next. He was silently eating his ration of biscuits when a knock on the door nearly choked him. It was inevitable, he said to himself -- so he stood up, open the door, and was surprised by a man in black suit holding a microphone. A cameraman was lighting his view.
"Sir you just won a part in the courtroom TV drama Real Justice "
Then Henry realized that the TV didn't lie at all, and what he saw was a glimpse of an acting career. He took the offer, packed his things and got off to Hollywood.
He died during the taping as a camera hovering the set fell on his head... The last thing he saw was the static reception in the broken TV.
--------------------------
Lost Days
"So tuloy bang Sunday Rye?" tanong ng bisor ko. Tagal kong napatunganga. Parang simple ng tanong niya pero sa akin hindi. Sa buong buhay ko kasi, di ko nasilayang di natuloy ang Sunday. Pagkatapos na pagkatapos ng Sabado ay laging Sunday ang bubungad sayo. isa itong araw bago magtrabaho o mageskwela. Tatlong bagay ang maaring mangyari:
1. gunaw na ang mundo pagdating ng alas dose ng sabado; o kaya'y
2. Hihinto ang oras bago sumapit ang Sunday; o kaya'y
3. Pagkatapos ng Sabado ay Monday na kinabukasan.
Natatakot ako sa lahat ng mangyayari, kasi sa Sunday matutulog ako't magbababad sa kama.
"So tuloy bang Sunday Rye?" wala akong nagawa kung hindi ay tumango.
----------------------------
tulog na ako...night!
Mrs. Norris was devastated with her husband's sudden death. Mr. Norris, a carpenter, was found dead, being trapped under piles of building debris. He was found clutching a paper, which seems to be his good bye note for his wife. It was a simple letter full of "I love you", "Thank yous" and apologies for leaving his wife so soon. Perplexing, however, was the idea that no pen was found near Mr. Norris' body.
To Mrs. Norris, the pen was a miracle. She imagined that Mr. Norris was given a chance to leave something behind. She was thinking of this with a smile, until a doctor approached her. "Ma'am I'm sorry for the loss. We now know the cause of your husbands' death.. and we found your miracle pen. Your husband died of choking. You see life's a joke sometimes".
Mr. Norris woke up agitated in the middle of the night as he touch his neck. He was sweating freshly from a bad dream; he took a deep breath thinking that never will he write a good bye note, ever.
---------------------------
WATCHING AHEAD
Henry is a murderer, well at least that's the way he will turn out as his future unfolds. He was convinced that he can view the future through his broken television set. At first it was just a hazy and static presentation of the war in Iraq; then the Hurricane Katrina. All events came truthfully after exactly a month.
He was planning to make something useful out of it when he saw his image on the TV screen a month ago. It was as clear and white as it can be: the TV showed the older version of him being convicted of 5 counts of murder. It was reclusion perpetua. He was watching still when the TV reception died from static signal. It was the last thing he saw from the future.
So he hid underneath the bed for a couple of weeks, scared to what will happen next. He was silently eating his ration of biscuits when a knock on the door nearly choked him. It was inevitable, he said to himself -- so he stood up, open the door, and was surprised by a man in black suit holding a microphone. A cameraman was lighting his view.
"Sir you just won a part in the courtroom TV drama Real Justice "
Then Henry realized that the TV didn't lie at all, and what he saw was a glimpse of an acting career. He took the offer, packed his things and got off to Hollywood.
He died during the taping as a camera hovering the set fell on his head... The last thing he saw was the static reception in the broken TV.
--------------------------
Lost Days
"So tuloy bang Sunday Rye?" tanong ng bisor ko. Tagal kong napatunganga. Parang simple ng tanong niya pero sa akin hindi. Sa buong buhay ko kasi, di ko nasilayang di natuloy ang Sunday. Pagkatapos na pagkatapos ng Sabado ay laging Sunday ang bubungad sayo. isa itong araw bago magtrabaho o mageskwela. Tatlong bagay ang maaring mangyari:
1. gunaw na ang mundo pagdating ng alas dose ng sabado; o kaya'y
2. Hihinto ang oras bago sumapit ang Sunday; o kaya'y
3. Pagkatapos ng Sabado ay Monday na kinabukasan.
Natatakot ako sa lahat ng mangyayari, kasi sa Sunday matutulog ako't magbababad sa kama.
"So tuloy bang Sunday Rye?" wala akong nagawa kung hindi ay tumango.
----------------------------
tulog na ako...night!
Saturday, March 22, 2008
The Book's Story
He was fascinated with the book, engrossed with its pages as the MRT moved along. He was standing, one hand stretched and holding the iron bar while the other was flipping a page with the thumb. The book wasn't that catchy at first, but as the plot reveals more of itself, the story began to unravel like a pearl hidden under a mediocre shell. His tongue would occasionally wet his lips as the heroine of the book exploits another witty adventure. Then the MRT stopped and suddenly people crowded the once silent train. An old lady tried to get pass through his left while a young man sink in to his right shoulder. As the train moved on, the crowd became agitated and the man hopelessly dropped his book.
It was a helpless incident seeing the book being pulled by gravity and then being thrown by the acceleration of the train. A stranger mindlessly tossed the book away from his foot as if nothing is more disgusting. The book rested in a spot for a moment, occasionally being moved by the savage railway motion. It rested on someone else's foot: a woman sitting silently amidst the turmoil of the train. She took the book from the floor, dusted the dirt from its cover, and looked up hoping for the owner's demand. But none came, so she studied the fragile book, flipping the first page.
Written underneath the title page was the name and address of the owner. She carefully read it even though the window light was distracted by passing shadows. The woman's face transformed from sombre to horrid surprise; She knew the owner by heart.
The Boni Station was the train's exhale of people. The man went looking for the book under the empty seats. He knew it was tossed away to his left by the annoying man in front him. Some of the passengers were staring at him as if he was a thief of some sort; some shrugged while others ignored him. He was turning impatient and hopeless as the train entered the tunnel providing short interval of lights.
He got tired, sat on one of the seats and for the last time scanned the floor. He was greeted sarcastically by empty plastic, candy wrappers and garbage left by the busy passengers. "Oh well, I guess I'll just explain to her why I lost it" he mumbled as he wrinkle his forehead and cover his eyes with exasperation.
"You're in trouble young man. You almost lost the book she lend you" a familiar female voice said. He slowly looked up at the source of voice as the MRT halted at the AYALA station.
He smiled and said "Finders keepers." He was happy thinking that sometimes people end up with its right owner. They sat together, held hands and decided to stay at the train for one more round trip before parting ways with their own affairs.
The book was left on the seat forgotten.
It was a helpless incident seeing the book being pulled by gravity and then being thrown by the acceleration of the train. A stranger mindlessly tossed the book away from his foot as if nothing is more disgusting. The book rested in a spot for a moment, occasionally being moved by the savage railway motion. It rested on someone else's foot: a woman sitting silently amidst the turmoil of the train. She took the book from the floor, dusted the dirt from its cover, and looked up hoping for the owner's demand. But none came, so she studied the fragile book, flipping the first page.
Written underneath the title page was the name and address of the owner. She carefully read it even though the window light was distracted by passing shadows. The woman's face transformed from sombre to horrid surprise; She knew the owner by heart.
The Boni Station was the train's exhale of people. The man went looking for the book under the empty seats. He knew it was tossed away to his left by the annoying man in front him. Some of the passengers were staring at him as if he was a thief of some sort; some shrugged while others ignored him. He was turning impatient and hopeless as the train entered the tunnel providing short interval of lights.
He got tired, sat on one of the seats and for the last time scanned the floor. He was greeted sarcastically by empty plastic, candy wrappers and garbage left by the busy passengers. "Oh well, I guess I'll just explain to her why I lost it" he mumbled as he wrinkle his forehead and cover his eyes with exasperation.
"You're in trouble young man. You almost lost the book she lend you" a familiar female voice said. He slowly looked up at the source of voice as the MRT halted at the AYALA station.
He smiled and said "Finders keepers." He was happy thinking that sometimes people end up with its right owner. They sat together, held hands and decided to stay at the train for one more round trip before parting ways with their own affairs.
The book was left on the seat forgotten.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Stuck in One Spot
I horridly coughed a dose of insomnia as my right hand trembles from a tiring mouse. I was only able to sleep from time to time not lasting 2 to 4 hours since the Holiday started. I was very excited of doing a lot of things, but then I ended up doing nothing specifically productive. It's the usual dilemma of a long Holiday: planning too much, then ending up with less than contentment.
Ironic that I felt restless despite the long break of a peaceful rest for both body and soul. I intend to play with Jajas more, write new songs, write long stories, blog more, draw more, zbrush more and sleep more; but reality bites and the long Holiday isn't long enough for my plans.
Rationalizing what I've done for these past few days seemed frustrating enough to prolong my insomnia. But then again, I guess I have to be glad -- there's something to blog about. I'll hold on to that thought until my sleep then. :)
Ironic that I felt restless despite the long break of a peaceful rest for both body and soul. I intend to play with Jajas more, write new songs, write long stories, blog more, draw more, zbrush more and sleep more; but reality bites and the long Holiday isn't long enough for my plans.
Rationalizing what I've done for these past few days seemed frustrating enough to prolong my insomnia. But then again, I guess I have to be glad -- there's something to blog about. I'll hold on to that thought until my sleep then. :)
Thursday, March 20, 2008
My Composition
Link
I guess insomnia got the best of me again. I've added three songs:
Listen:. A song I created back in 97 with my high school band. I think this song is still my favourite among all songs I wrote.
Flat Tire:. I made the music for this one, while Aris wrote the lyrics. One of the songs we made back in Kalayaan Dorm.
Silent Love:. Another song back in hich school. I never knew who wrote the lyrics since it was just given to me silently. I simply place the words written by anonymous.
I guess insomnia got the best of me again. I've added three songs:
Listen:. A song I created back in 97 with my high school band. I think this song is still my favourite among all songs I wrote.
Flat Tire:. I made the music for this one, while Aris wrote the lyrics. One of the songs we made back in Kalayaan Dorm.
Silent Love:. Another song back in hich school. I never knew who wrote the lyrics since it was just given to me silently. I simply place the words written by anonymous.
Back to Drawing Bored (Warning: Partial Nudity)
Things I'm doing while having a break from my freelance works:
TMNT:. A drawing inspired by the Raphael. The doodle was an old pencil-on-paper drawing, which I haven't finished editing in Photoshop until now. I liked the rain scene in the Movie, and I tried to recapture it here:
Crawling:. A sensual rendition of a female figure crawling in a bed sheet. I made the drawing a few months back, and have decided to finish the colors just recently. My apologies to the partial nudity of the character.
Hope you enjoyed it. ;)
TMNT:. A drawing inspired by the Raphael. The doodle was an old pencil-on-paper drawing, which I haven't finished editing in Photoshop until now. I liked the rain scene in the Movie, and I tried to recapture it here:
Crawling:. A sensual rendition of a female figure crawling in a bed sheet. I made the drawing a few months back, and have decided to finish the colors just recently. My apologies to the partial nudity of the character.
Hope you enjoyed it. ;)
Monday, March 17, 2008
the early morning...
I wet my lips with the glass of water
I typed a poem while staring glassy-eyed
at the monitor
My head is heavy; burdened from
thinking and over use
my lips smiling, hanging a waning
moon fresh from nothingness
I yawned and ended my writing
I was tired of sleepiness
I typed a poem while staring glassy-eyed
at the monitor
My head is heavy; burdened from
thinking and over use
my lips smiling, hanging a waning
moon fresh from nothingness
I yawned and ended my writing
I was tired of sleepiness
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Letting Fate Take its Job
I've been walking for hours now not minding where I am or where I was. I was simply moving and letting my feet be magnitized to wherever it take me. My direction seems to be pointing nowhere, but my mind was carefully calculating my decisions in life. Like a 27 year old processor, it was filing controlled and uncontrolled files - scanning importance based on society, morality, religion, spirituality, philosophy, happiness, other people's happiness and even other people's standards.
I imagined throwing redundant actions, unneeded memories, unnecessary insecurities and other matters I neglect to accept in my life.
I got to 80%, then jumping to 90% file sorting. I took a turn to a small curve and was glad to see that the traffic light turned from red to green, just like the way my mind capacity is being processed.
I was happy enough to know that I was almost 100% complete when a blinding light took me by surprise, made a painful collision and shutted down my system without control; I died right there.
Then my working mind woke up. Good thing I was just sitting in front of a pc imagining that I was walking and thinking absent-mindedly.
"Well life is simply short, let fate take its course sometimes" I said to myself, while pressing the delete button sending some of my files in the trash bin.
I imagined throwing redundant actions, unneeded memories, unnecessary insecurities and other matters I neglect to accept in my life.
I got to 80%, then jumping to 90% file sorting. I took a turn to a small curve and was glad to see that the traffic light turned from red to green, just like the way my mind capacity is being processed.
I was happy enough to know that I was almost 100% complete when a blinding light took me by surprise, made a painful collision and shutted down my system without control; I died right there.
Then my working mind woke up. Good thing I was just sitting in front of a pc imagining that I was walking and thinking absent-mindedly.
"Well life is simply short, let fate take its course sometimes" I said to myself, while pressing the delete button sending some of my files in the trash bin.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Media Farm Awarded @ 2008 e-Services Awards
I got a great news this morning from my client Ms. Weng (Media Farm, Inc.) that the VUL program that Aris and I co-developed last year was awarded in the E-Services Philippines 2008 held last 12 Feb 2008. The event was hosted by The Department of Trade and Industry (DTI), Board of Investment (BOI), and Center for International Trade, Exhibitions, and Missions (CITEM).
Aris and I were mainly involved with the program design and the template development of the VUL e-Learning system.
The project won the Animation and Game Development Sector
Category: Outstanding Client Application of the Year
Winner: Sun Life VUL e-Learning Program" by Media Farm, Inc.
Kodus to all those who were involved in the project, especially to Ms. Weng whom Aris and I share mixed frustration and success with. It was a really hard project, but gladly we made it through with great customer feedback, and now with a national award. Congrats!
INFO ABOUT THE EVENT:
http://www.teamasia.com.ph/pr/PR_clientnews.asp?art_no=333
http://philippineoutsourcingreview.blogspot.com/2008/02/winners-e-services-awards-2008.html
http://www.pinoypress.net/2008/02/09/dti-highlights-value-of-ip-creation-at-2008-e-services-awards/
Aris and I were mainly involved with the program design and the template development of the VUL e-Learning system.
The project won the Animation and Game Development Sector
Category: Outstanding Client Application of the Year
Winner: Sun Life VUL e-Learning Program" by Media Farm, Inc.
Kodus to all those who were involved in the project, especially to Ms. Weng whom Aris and I share mixed frustration and success with. It was a really hard project, but gladly we made it through with great customer feedback, and now with a national award. Congrats!
INFO ABOUT THE EVENT:
http://www.teamasia.com.ph/pr/PR_clientnews.asp?art_no=333
http://philippineoutsourcingreview.blogspot.com/2008/02/winners-e-services-awards-2008.html
http://www.pinoypress.net/2008/02/09/dti-highlights-value-of-ip-creation-at-2008-e-services-awards/
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
An Unexpected Birthday Greeting
While celebrating my birthday at home last night, I received 4 messages from a friend. The first message started with a simple birthday greeting. I smiled since I haven't heard from Cel in such a long time; but what followed in the text messages made the spaghetti and the cake in my mouth suddenly bitter: her Mom just passed away.
She said that the news hasn't sinked in yet, and she's trying to be strong for everyone in the family. Cel was always the event organizer during our college years; it's no wonder she's handling the hospital bills, internment, informing the family and everything that has to be arranged.
I think she's trying to busy herself so as not to feel the impact of the damage.I replied, since it was all I can do, being miles away from her. She was sending the message through YM and I wasn't sure if she received my messages.
It was a sad news, that I felt guilty celebrating.
She said that the news hasn't sinked in yet, and she's trying to be strong for everyone in the family. Cel was always the event organizer during our college years; it's no wonder she's handling the hospital bills, internment, informing the family and everything that has to be arranged.
I think she's trying to busy herself so as not to feel the impact of the damage.I replied, since it was all I can do, being miles away from her. She was sending the message through YM and I wasn't sure if she received my messages.
It was a sad news, that I felt guilty celebrating.
A Love Story I Love To Share
In a crowd of dancing people, a girl was selling snacks for the concert. She was in her teens wearing a white shirt, once used to be her sister's, and a boyish short from her brother. Life was rough hard with her father's salary barely enough for a family of 14. She enjoys the concert and was glad to hear that the local band playing was one of her favorites.
"Isa nga nito", said a woman as the music played along. The girl was glad she was selling more than expected and would run out of food to sell; this means she could enjoy the concert watching and dancing the rest of the evening.
The backstage of the concert wasn't a room of enjoyment. It's the place were singers and dancers appear terrified muttering and convincing themselves to appear relaxed. A boy was hidden behind the wall separating the stage from the crowd. He was dreamily watching and learning from his brother's guitar moves. His brother mimics an act made by one of the famous British bands. The crowd cheered in delight dancing with the guitar tune. His brother was a god in the stage, and there was nothing the boy would like to do more but to become his brother; if only he could play his brother's guitar. But education was his only way out of the
poor life, as his carpenter father would always emphasize. They were a family of 12 and he was expected to support the rest of the sibling's education after his studies.
The music ended and applause became the sound of the evening. The boy got tired of staring at the band, and placed his sight on the watching people instead.
She got tired of staring at the man playing the guitar, and not knowing why placed her view on the side of the stage.
For a split second they might have stared at each other, or it could have been just a simple short glance prolonged by my imagination; but unlike the usual love story, they never met that evening. She resumed her selling and it never sold out, the way she hoped it would. He went home carrying his brother's precious guitar, and he never got to play it.
But somewhere along the time after that, my parents met and fell in love with each other.
"Isa nga nito", said a woman as the music played along. The girl was glad she was selling more than expected and would run out of food to sell; this means she could enjoy the concert watching and dancing the rest of the evening.
The backstage of the concert wasn't a room of enjoyment. It's the place were singers and dancers appear terrified muttering and convincing themselves to appear relaxed. A boy was hidden behind the wall separating the stage from the crowd. He was dreamily watching and learning from his brother's guitar moves. His brother mimics an act made by one of the famous British bands. The crowd cheered in delight dancing with the guitar tune. His brother was a god in the stage, and there was nothing the boy would like to do more but to become his brother; if only he could play his brother's guitar. But education was his only way out of the
poor life, as his carpenter father would always emphasize. They were a family of 12 and he was expected to support the rest of the sibling's education after his studies.
The music ended and applause became the sound of the evening. The boy got tired of staring at the band, and placed his sight on the watching people instead.
She got tired of staring at the man playing the guitar, and not knowing why placed her view on the side of the stage.
For a split second they might have stared at each other, or it could have been just a simple short glance prolonged by my imagination; but unlike the usual love story, they never met that evening. She resumed her selling and it never sold out, the way she hoped it would. He went home carrying his brother's precious guitar, and he never got to play it.
But somewhere along the time after that, my parents met and fell in love with each other.
Monday, March 10, 2008
What's HAPPYning
Would you be happy to quantify and define happiness? Would it be counted on the muscle movement, just like the old cliche about how much muscle movement it takes to smile than to frown? Would you measure it in the number of rhythmic convulsions called laughter -- how about the number and width of laugh lines?
Can one be happy with a masked face pretending to be still, the way stand-up comedians control their laughter so as to emphasize the humour amidst the dying audience's laughter?
Is Narcissus happy being alone staring softly on his deadly reflection? Are Cheng and Eng happy being conjoined until death with the first, dying from a nightmare, and the other, from a heart attack upon waking up with a dead brother?
Can happiness be monetary - or monetary be happiness? Am I happy, Am I rich, Am I happily rich or richly happy?
Is happiness an issue? Should I write it down then?
------
I asked Jody one walkathon evening, just outside the house, what brightens her days since she's been wearing this happy smile. She said she's enjoying simple pleasures from small things. I smiled thinking that I was reminded on how life should be lived with simple happiness.
My mind browsed through my brain and found the scene in the Amelie movie when Amelie was dipping her hand in the sack of grains enjoying the texture of it.
Then my thoughts slipped realizing Jody was smiling and staring at my blank face.
All of this happening while my son was having a laughing-hard-until-hiccuping-later laughter, watching a Tom & Jerry cartoon in front of the pc. We eventually watched along with laughter.
Can one be happy with a masked face pretending to be still, the way stand-up comedians control their laughter so as to emphasize the humour amidst the dying audience's laughter?
Is Narcissus happy being alone staring softly on his deadly reflection? Are Cheng and Eng happy being conjoined until death with the first, dying from a nightmare, and the other, from a heart attack upon waking up with a dead brother?
Can happiness be monetary - or monetary be happiness? Am I happy, Am I rich, Am I happily rich or richly happy?
Is happiness an issue? Should I write it down then?
------
I asked Jody one walkathon evening, just outside the house, what brightens her days since she's been wearing this happy smile. She said she's enjoying simple pleasures from small things. I smiled thinking that I was reminded on how life should be lived with simple happiness.
My mind browsed through my brain and found the scene in the Amelie movie when Amelie was dipping her hand in the sack of grains enjoying the texture of it.
Then my thoughts slipped realizing Jody was smiling and staring at my blank face.
All of this happening while my son was having a laughing-hard-until-hiccuping-later laughter, watching a Tom & Jerry cartoon in front of the pc. We eventually watched along with laughter.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Cough and Gas
Jody told me a funny Jas story this morning which I can't help but share in this blog. While trying to sleep last night, Jas suddenly coughed hard enough that it made him fart. Jody tried to comfort our gassy son, who was then starting to cry out of pride -- and then Jas coughed and farted again, followed by a yelp of arrgghh.
Jody was holding her laughter as our son coughed and farted again, and then giving up from shame and sleepiness.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Through the Window
The Billboard model smiled back at me. It was early morning and the road below was dump from the morning dew. Small dots of people are starting to crowd the nearby building. The passenger jeepneys honked their horns as a wake up call. My eyes moved towards the horizon -- the sun greeted me with its yellow-orange rays and the clouds reflected its radiance. Soon it will cover the land with its warmth and brightness.
I yawned and decided to close the curtain. Like a television show, the room turned dark again, and the Sun and the busy city would not bother me yet.
I yawned and decided to close the curtain. Like a television show, the room turned dark again, and the Sun and the busy city would not bother me yet.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
The Way Things Are
Awaken by a nightmare, my son was sobbing and sleepily said "Bakit ganun talaga?". Probably facing a childhood's sense of limitation, or he simply recalled a bad day. He turned sideways, uttered the same remark and slowly was back to his dreams once again.
"Ganun talaga anak" I repeated; Sometimes we have to accept the ways things shoud be.
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