On Silent Nights

My eldest son Jas now clings on me to sleep every night. It seems like part of him accepts the fact that his brother Nate now got dibs over his mama's bosom. For the first time in many nights that we sleep together, Jas finds refuge in my silent embrace now. He takes my arms semi-consciously and wraps it around his belly. He usually kicks the blanket away and would dig a comfort sleep on my shoulder. Whenever he wakes up, I expect that he would move away from and ask for his mama, but instead he takes my other hand and say "Dada, kamot, kati"

It's hard to sleep because I always wanted to savor the moment..It's hard to sleep knowing one day, Jas would grow up and would find refuge in puberty or school or work or his own family... But until that time, I would like him to sleep in my embrace.